Cherishing the Sorrow: A Therapy of Letting Go

We are all going to have to go through it eventually. No one wants to, but we have no choice. No sugarcoating but it is a life fact.

Someone near and dear to you has just passed away, moved on to the next life, but the question is… what now?


Find a shoulder, and cry your eyes out on it.

It might be a bit embarrassing, but there is no weakness in mourning for the loss of someone close to you. You might be tempted to bottle your emotions, but, this is not a solution. Shoving your feelings into the back of your mind is not dealing with them, it is ignoring them, and at some point, you will explode from the weight of the feelings you are carrying.

You should be brave. Seek out friends and family that remain, and have the courage to tell them how you feel. Weep. Shout. Do whatever it takes to get the sadness out of your system. In the end, you will find that a great weight has just been lifted off your chest.


Find closure, come into terms with their death.

The next step is accepting the fact that when someone is gone, they are not coming back. Whether you believe in heaven, reincarnation, or nirvana, you have to accept the fact that you would not be meeting that person again. Remember them, but do not let your thoughts linger on them.

Talk to people that knew them well. If you have unanswered questions, ask people who know how they used to think. Ask them. Finally, try to start mentioning them in the past tense, to solidify that they are, fact, dead. Instead of saying “Yeah, he’s a great guy,” say “Yeah, he was a great guy.”


Deal with their death and move on.

Now, it is time to put on a strong face and keep moving forward. Deal with their death. If they were a family member, start arranging for their funeral. Plan the funeral service, scout out the burial site or, alternatively, buy a vault in a columbarium to store their ashes; at would be a good place to start, their agents are expert at dealing with St. Therese Columbarium properties, and they offer great assistance.

Once all has been done, return to your daily routine. Go through the motions: get a hobby of you have spare time, and look forward, not behind. Most importantly, do not let their memory distract you from the present. Take some time off work or school if you need a while to adjust, but once you return, there is no turning back.


Remember them, once in a while.

Just because they are no longer here does not mean that, once in a while, hopefully a long while after they are gone, you cannot look back and honor their memory. Leave some flowers on their grave on their birthday and death anniversary. Toast to them when you are out with mutual friends. Think of them fondly, but never excessively.

Hold on to the hope that one day, someone will do the same for you.

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